BUT, DADDY, IT WASN’T MY FAULT!

I am quite sure that Daddy got quite tired of hearing this statement from me. There is a particular story that I will share that mirrored many of the things that happened growing up.  One afternoon I was headed out to North Raleigh to baby sit for my Uncle Robert and Sally. Of course, I was running a little behind schedule and was driving just a little too close to the car in front of me. As we approached a traffic light, it flipped to the yellow light. I just KNEW that the car in front of me would “go for it” and I would slide right under the light with her. Well, that was not the case. She SLAMMED on brakes and I just did not have the response time necessary to avoid running in the back of her. Oh, no! What am I going to do? This accident happened before cell phones. The police came and I called my uncle to let them know what was going on. I also called my Daddy to inform him of the accident. The first thing I said to him was, “it wasn’t my fault”. He calmly asked me what happened and I told him I ran in the back of someone. As I write this, I still amazed that I said that to him. In a loving and kind voice, he said “anytime you run in the back of someone, it is always your fault.” Then he quickly assured me that everything would be just fine and he asked to speak to the policeman. You see, I was 2 hours away from him at college and the only thing that was important to him was that I was okay.

Everything else was just a detail.

Here are a few of the details that followed that accident.  It was Christmas break from college and I headed home for a couple of weeks. Daddy was so excited to have a plan for us to fix my car while I was home. The next morning Daddy was knocking on my bedroom door letting me it was time to get started on our project. First, we attached a cable to the car frame and connected it to the barn pole and used a wench to pull the frame out. Next, we used rabbit wire for the grill of the car. And, finally, we attached the new hood to the car. Daddy had been to the local junk yard and found a great hood that was painted the exact color of the car. We worked on this car for many hours during the day in freezing temperatures. We had a deadline and I had a goal and that was to drive my car back to school. I learned so much those two weeks as we worked together.

Lessons

1. In the early years, it is a blessing to have someone who takes life’s opportunities

to grow you.

2.  When you take part in repairing your mistakes, you have more compassion

 in teaching others. 

3. It is not what happens to you, it is how you respond to it that makes the difference.

THE HORSE IS OUT AGAIN!

My Daddy started teaching me how to ride at a very early age. There are many pictures of me riding with him on his prize horse named Candy. Over the years, we had many different horses that captured our heart and also frustrated us with their personalities. One horse in particular named

Sea Reba came to live on our farm. He was an absolutely beautiful horse and full of personality. All the horses were in the red barn that my Daddy had built. The locks on the doors were typical and customary to most horse barns. A few weeks after Sea Reba had arrived at the farm, we noticed that the horses were getting out and going to the feed room. Daddy just could not figure out what was happening. Then, he decided to spy on the horses one day. What he saw amazed him. Sea Reba had learned how to open the locks on the barn and then open the lock on the feed room and let everyone enjoy more food. Now, if you have been around horses and noticed how big their lips and mouths are, you would know that it is a miracle that a horse would be able to achieve such a task. Daddy went to work on replacing the locks and outsmarting this horse. Finally, after many efforts, Daddy decided to build a new barn. This new barn would have top of the line locks on the doors that not even

Sea Reba would figure out how to open them. As luck would have it, this horse figured out how to open the barn doors even with these new locks. I learned so much by watching my Daddy respond to this challenge. He just shook his head in laughter and enjoyed the fact that he owned one of the most brilliant horses that has ever lived.

Lessons

 1.  Your animals can really give you a run for your money.

2.  It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.

3.  You never know how/where you will learn life’s lessons.

CARE ENOUGH TO PREPARE

I remember many times Daddy getting up early –

3:00 AM and working until we got up at 5:30 AM to get ready for school. He said it was the quietest time of the day and he could think. He also said that getting into the office to check in and out by

8 AM was the key to his personal success. So many of us wonder what it is that successful people have. It is the little daily decisions that set the excellent apart from the average. Daddy said he could get more done between 3 AM and 8 AM than most people all day. You must know yourself well enough to go the extra mile. Once the strategy is set and your mind is calm, people are attracted to you like a magnet. Prospects are looking for salespeople who have a plan. They are looking for people who really care about them, not just the dollar amount on the sale. Daddy would do his presentations to us and then run the calculations over and over again making sure that his proposal was excellent. I remember thinking, “why all the repetition?” Any of you who have played sports really understand this lesson. There is no greatness without running the fundamentals.

Lessons

 1.  Early bird really does get the worm.

2.   You must take time to think

.3.  Know what fundamentals need practicing

.4.  Having a strategy and a plan keeps yourself-confidence and self-esteem high.

Chapter 4

IT’S NOT WHAT YOU MAKE, IT’S WHAT YOU HAVE LEFT OVER THAT COUNTS.

I never realized as a child that we were sacrificing to get ahead. Daddy has done an incredible job being the spiritual leader in our home. He and mama created a budget and followed it no matter how painful it was to do so. I remember how amazed I was at mama creating meals out of nothing. I would look in the cabinet and not see much of anything. However, mama was a genius at creating the most beautiful, nutritional meal from what she had in the cabinet. Now, that my friends, is an art. Daddy was the engine behind her creativity. He had given her a grocery budget and expected her to make it work. There were many times when mama asked Daddy for a larger budget. He told her that he was buying more stock at the company and to be patient. Wow, all three of us girls had absolutely no idea the sacrifices that were being made behind closed doors. I remember when someone at school asked me if I was rich. I came home and asked mama if we were rich. Her response, “we are so rich in so many ways and started listing all of the ways.” I will never forget that conviction of love from mama that day. The greatest riches of all is the spiritual foundation that my parents have set for me.  There were many times when I truly did not want to go to church. I am so grateful that my parents did not give me a choice. I didn’t have enough information to make that choice. As we sat there in church, I watched the offering plate go by and see my parents give their tithe. Another gift I am so grateful for is watching my parents give God the first fruits of their labor. 

Lessons

1. It is amazing how creative you can be when you eliminate your options.

2.  If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you get there?

3.  There is nothing richer than an attitude of excellence.

4. Giving the Lord the first fruits of your labor signifies that you trust Him to lead you.

5. Remember, God doesn’t need your money, He wants your heart.

Chapter 3

FAMILY IS ANOTHER NAME FOR TEAM.

My Daddy has always been quite the family man. His actions have spoken so loudly over the years, that his words were only a confirmation of his lessons. Daddy worked for Carolina Telephone Company for over 30 years. He is the master salesman. His career required him to travel quite a bit throughout eastern NC. I never remembered feeling like I was missing something because he had to travel to see his clients. He and mama were a team and agreed to work their plan of raising three girls. I remember hearing them talking about the upcoming week and what would be involved in “making it work” that week. We all had chores around the house and farm; everything from cleaning bathrooms, sweeping out the garage to mowing grass and picking up pinecones. I now realize how important it was to make sure we all had completed our chores to make the plan work. Some of the highlights of growing up were the family trips. Quite often we would pack the horse trailer and head to the NC mountains for a long weekend. We would camp and then ride all day the next day. When I say all day, I mean 8-9 hours a day. We had to literally peel ourselves off the saddle when we arrived back at camp. Oh, the conversations on the trails and just being together is something I will never forget. And, then our family trip to Disney World was an interesting game plan. Daddy asked all three girls to sit down at the kitchen table. We had a very important decision to make as a team. We could either take the Suburban and stay in a basic motel when we got to Florida or we could drive the Chevette and stay in a very nice hotel on the Disney World grounds. Can you imagine which option we took? We didn’t care how cramped we were getting there; we just wanted to be in “high cotton” when we got there.

Lessons

1.  Teamwork makes family fun.

2.  What you help to create, you support.

3.  You never know when you are learning another aspect of being a team player.

4.  As long as everyone pulls their load, the team works smoothly.

Good Morning to my fellow leadership lesson junkies!

Just got back from collecting the most beautiful eggs from the barnyard. While I was filling the buckets with water, filling the bins with food and collecting eggs, I had a great moment as it relates to business and life.

It only takes 15 minutes to walk from the house to the barn and do the necessary chores. In order to make it more pleasurable, you must have the right attitude, right attire and long term vision. I must admit, I do step through LOTS of manure while I am on my adventure but my vision is “how many eggs are in the nest?” When I walk in the chicken coop, I say “Good Morning Girls” and ask them how they are doing as I hear them clucking away. I collect eggs, walk back through the barnyard and head to the house. It only took 15 MINUTES to collect 20 eggs!!!

Can you imagine walking out the barnyard with high heels on? It is just like getting on the phone to follow up with clients about their products with a bad attitude and NO VISION.  The manure slides between your toes instead of rolling off your rubber boots.

Oh, the leadership lessons from the barnyard…

Thank you for indulging me today as you read this Funny Friday post:)

Chapter 2

LEARN TO READ THE SITUATION.

My Daddy is famous for “sizing up” a situation before he acts on it. The pain of waiting for his response in the early days was tough. When I asked to go out with my friends on the weekend, he would never respond right away. Often, he would listen to all the details that I was sharing and then he would go on to something else. He would even walk outside to the barn and start working on a project. I am thinking to myself, “what is he doing? Did he not even hear what I asked?” In my frustration, I would turn to my mother and beg her to talk some sense into him. She would often say, “if your Daddy answered with his first response, you would never go anywhere.” So, I learned to “wait it out” and not aggravate him by asking him over and over again. On a Friday afternoon I asked Daddy if I could go to a party with my friends on Saturday night.
He agreed to me going to the party if I would help him paint his new workshop the next day. I gladly accepted the job because I wanted to go out the next evening. By the time I had finished painting, I was so exhausted that I couldn’t bear the thought of “going out”. I took a shower and turned in bed. My Daddy always had a way of proving a point.
Another great example of reading the situation is when my Daddy asked me to go with him to buy a saddle for his horse. Before we arrived, he coached me as to what my role would be while we talked about the saddle. He told me that he would do the talking and ask for my input when he cued me. When we walked in and saw the saddle, I knew it was exactly what Daddy was looking for and I knew he liked it right away. I kept silent. He talked with the gentleman about the price and condition of the saddle. Then he asked me what I thought and I responded, “I like it, however, I really like the other saddle we looked at earlier.” You see, Daddy had given me the words to say when he asked me to respond. When the gentleman heard that, he started negotiating right away. Needless to say, we left that day with a new saddle and paid exactly what Daddy wanted to pay for it.
Another great example of learning to read the situation is when Daddy went to talk with a client about her driveway. He owns AB Gravel Driveways and enjoys helping people with their drainage and driveway challenges. This particular day, he called the customer back to give her an estimate of what it would cost to take care of the driveway. She was astounded at the estimate and immediately started telling Daddy exactly what she wanted. After he quietly listened, he said, “oh, you want your driveway repaired. In order to have it fixed, it will be more.” The point Daddy was making here is that is costs more to fix something than to repair it. The client’s terminology of “fixing” really meant “repairing”.

Lessons

1. We have 2 ears and 1 mouth. Use them accordingly.
2. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
3. What people do speaks so loudly that we don’t hear what they are saying.
4. Think before you respond.

PUT THINGS BACK WHERE YOU FOUND THEM.

As a child, Daddy always was asking me if I had put back the toothpaste where I found it. After we finished riding horses, he asked if I had put the tack back in the barn. After raking the yard, he asked if I had put back the rake, pitchfork, wheelbarrow. Why does it matter? It became like a broken record – question after question after question. Let’s run over the dead horse one more time, I was thinking to myself. I had no idea what this process was teaching me. The mundane tasks, the questions, the inspection of what my Daddy expected – there was a purpose to all of this? What I didn’t realize is that the purpose would be revealed much later. So many lessons learned from this process during my childhood.

Lessons

1. When you put things back where you found them, you respect the item and the people that want to use it later.
2. If you can be disciplined in one area of your life, you can be disciplined in all areas.
3. The better you take care of things around you, the longer you will have them.
4. When you have respect for others, others tend to respect you. You reap what you sow.

I have been traveling the past week to our annual Leadership conference with Mary Kay. We were in Los Angeles, CA to celebrate the 50th anniversary. Several of us went out a couple days early to be able take in beautiful parts of CA like Malibu and Santa Monica. Enjoyed so much spending great time with girlfriends from all over the country. The overall theme at Leadership was “Coaching”. It is the key to building a strong business. Coaching is nothing more than building relationships.

Love the 4 point Coaching Plan – works in any situation – business/community/family.

1. Check the emotional temperature of who you are working with/talking to.

2. Revisit the WHY (purpose) of the person you are dealing with

3. Reinforce encouragement

4. Embrace the Process and Journey

This a great formula to build strong relationships for a lifetime.

Each morning is a another opportunity to revisit your purpose and who you are trusting to guide you on your journey.  Did you know every time you affirm your trust in God, you put a coin into His treasury?  You are building up equity in preparation for days of trouble. The more you trust Him, the more He empowers you do so.

Practice trusting Him during the quiet days when nothing much is happening. Then when the storms come, your trust balance will be sufficient to see you through. Store up for yourself treasure in heaven, through placing your trust in Me. Matthew 6:20-21 New Testament

Breathe deeply and slowly and enjoy all the relaxing air that is flowing into your body as you go about your day with a calm confidence. Your roots are deep and can withstand any storm by placing your trust always in God.